One Dog Fight

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race  realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were  going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and  decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They  would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the  world and which ever side’s dog won would be entitled to  dominate the world.

The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler  female dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest  Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest  puppy from each litter, removed his siblings which gave him all  the milk. After five years came up with the biggest meanest  dog the world had ever seen.
Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and  nobody could get near it.

When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up  with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund.  Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there  was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with  the Russian dog.

When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it’s  cage and slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian  dog snarled and leaped out of it’s cage and charged the American  dachshund. But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund’s  neck, the Dachshund opened it’s mouth and consumed the Russian  dog in one bite.

There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog. The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in  disbelief. “We don’t understand how this could have happened.  We had our best people working for five years with the meanest  Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest  meanest Siberian wolves.”

“That’s nothing”, an American replied. “We had our best plastic  surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look  like a Dachshund.”